Fuck This

Went from 15dpo to AF...oh hai Cycle #9 so disregard my last post. I mean you can read it, but it is pretty boring anyway. So is this one though ::shrug::

I'm such a slacker!

Why do I even have this blog? I ain't even be writing these days!

So what is going on with me you wonder:

15dpo no AF yet but I feel like I'm just waiting for her to show up today or tomorrow. I tested at 12dpo but got a BFN and haven't tested since. Trying to stay positive and trying not to get discouraged but it is getting harder and harder as cycles pass me by. I'm also nervous about starting cycle #9 because DH is going to ANOTHER curling tournament next weekend and we could potentially miss my FW. I actually considered going but it is in Canada so no bueno.

Life goes on....

School has been kicking my ass this semester. We are on a trimester schedule so I only have about a month or so left before I'm done and I can.not.wait. After that is it just time to study for the comprehensive exams which take place in June. In a Ph.D. program you complete 30 credits and then must take 2 comprehensive exams to move forward. One is in theory and the other is a combination of research and statistics. Each is approximately 8 hours long. Good times! BUT after that (if I pass) I go on to take maybe one or two more classes depending on how many of my Master's credits my dissertation committee will let me transfer, and these classes will be in my specialty area. From there I defend my dissertation topic and take one more comprehensive exam in my specialty. Then I will officially be ABD (all by dissertation). Whewwww but I am moving along at a good pace and already have ideas in place for my dissertation. I will be focusing primarily on sexual offenders and recidivism (re-arrest rates), but I still have to funnel it down.

Okay if you actually read that incredibly boring paragraph I am flashing my boobies for you!

I want to give an extra special thank you to an amazing bumpie friend who sent me a care package over the weekend. It was so incredibly sweet and filled with so many thoughtful things. I will be PIPing that shit on here to brag a little more :)

SNOWtorious B.I.G.

 I finally got around to uploading pictures from Storm Nemo/Charlotte that dropped almost 3 feet of snow on us. These pictures are from the next day - Saturday, February 9th.

This is what we woke up to in the morning. We were finally able to open the sliding glass doors to our back porch area about a week or so later. Good times!!!

My husband shoveling us out of our home...

Clearing a path to my car.

 

 

Finally time to take our little dog for a walk!

THE END

Praying to St. Gerard Majella

~~~*~Religion Alert~*~~~

I grew up Roman Catholic, my grandparents were devout parishioners till they passed and my mother continues to attend Mass on a weekly basis. I have not attended church in a long time, but I pray and practice in a way that I feel comfortable with at this stage in my life. I haven't prayed as much in recent years as I have in the past and I feel a Spiritual void right now.

I've recently started praying to St. Gerard Majella. Although not officially named the Patron Saint of Mothers by the Catholic Church, he is often looked to as the Saint for children, unborn children, expectant mothers and motherhood. The reasoning behind this is somewhat of a mystery, but quite interesting. I feel disrespectful praying only when I want something or need something, but it is during these times I need greater strength and look to a higher being for that strength.

I have not discussed the beginning of my relationship with my husband in my blog yet...at some point I will share the story. Briefly, I will state that I prayed to St. Michael after he was in a near fatel accident when we first started seeing each other. I even wore a St. Michael pendant around my neck for months, if not close to a year. That pendant remains in my jewelry box as a reminder of the strength it gave me during that awful time. St. Michael is the Patron of sickness. 

I have been thinking of getting myself this. Might it be silly? Sure, but in some small way I think it may help me express my Spirituality and strengthen my faith.

 

Prayer For Motherhood

O good Saint Gerard, powerful intercessor before God and Wonderworker of our day, I call upon thee and seek thy aid. Thou who on earth didst always fulfill God’s designs, help me to do the holy Will of God. Beseech the Master of Life, from Whom all paternity proceedeth, to render me fruitful in offspring, that I may raise up children to God in this life and heirs to the Kingdom of His Glory in the world to come. Amen.

  

Am I allowed to bummed yet? Just a little?

CD2 - Cycle #8

Have people in this world been trying longer than me? Yes.
Am I allowed to be a little bummed at this point? I think at least a little bit. Normal right? Of course every cycle brings disappointment, but for some reason I am just so mad at hitting cycle #8. We only have this month and next month left to have a baby born in 2013 (barring any unforeseen circumstances). Only two more cycles to have a baby by next Christmas. One of the things that got me through this Christmas was the hope of holding a little one in my arms next year.

On top of AF showing up, I have a crapton of work to do for school. Midterms and papers are coming up and I have decided this semester is by far the hardest I've ever had in school, ever. So I will be spending the majority of my weekend studying and reading. Today I just wanted to relax. I have cramps, a headache, and this week has been nuts between teaching and my own classes. Plus there is a mofo blizzard outside = perfect day to lounge.

DH doesn't know how to relax and around 3:30ish decided to make me feel bad for relaxing. He claims I have the whole weekend. Does he not listen? Did he not hear me say all the stuff I have to do this weekend? Apparently not. Then he precedes to tell me I spend too much time in our room. Hey dude, you are the only person in our house with an office so I HAVE to use our bedroom. Fucking douchery. So now I'm cleaning so he will leave me alone. I told him I wish I had gone to my parents' house up the street before the snow really started coming in so I would be stuck there. At least then I could have relaxed in peace.

Whatever, whatever, I'm being a total bitch and I know it. I don't feel like taking my goddamn temp every morning anymore, I don't feel like peeing on OPKs anymore, I don't feel like counting down the days after I O to test....I just don't want to do it anymore. I know I'll feel better later, right now it is definitely pity party for one. After this cleaning crap is done I'm downing a bottle of wine. If I still smoked, I'd break out the p-funks too.

Tick Tock Goes the Clock

15dpo and counting the days.

I can feel the wrath of this bitch waiting to make an appearance this month and my temperatures are only confirming my suspicions. I suppose if I magically make it to 18dpo I will test, till then I'd rather not stare at a stark white HPT.

For now I stare at this.

 

Looking something like this...

Have No Fear

Everyone with boobs is in the clear!

Okay, okay so I am not making my blog private BUT I did take it out of my siggy on TB. So many new people around I'm just starting to get all paranoid and shit. Maybe because a new semester is starting at school and I'm secretly afraid any number of my students could be on TB as well. Who knows? I looked into making it private but then I would have to add everyone separately and you all would have to go through an extra step. Unnecessary. Alas my blog is here to stay bitches!!!