Am I allowed to bummed yet? Just a little?

CD2 - Cycle #8

Have people in this world been trying longer than me? Yes.
Am I allowed to be a little bummed at this point? I think at least a little bit. Normal right? Of course every cycle brings disappointment, but for some reason I am just so mad at hitting cycle #8. We only have this month and next month left to have a baby born in 2013 (barring any unforeseen circumstances). Only two more cycles to have a baby by next Christmas. One of the things that got me through this Christmas was the hope of holding a little one in my arms next year.

On top of AF showing up, I have a crapton of work to do for school. Midterms and papers are coming up and I have decided this semester is by far the hardest I've ever had in school, ever. So I will be spending the majority of my weekend studying and reading. Today I just wanted to relax. I have cramps, a headache, and this week has been nuts between teaching and my own classes. Plus there is a mofo blizzard outside = perfect day to lounge.

DH doesn't know how to relax and around 3:30ish decided to make me feel bad for relaxing. He claims I have the whole weekend. Does he not listen? Did he not hear me say all the stuff I have to do this weekend? Apparently not. Then he precedes to tell me I spend too much time in our room. Hey dude, you are the only person in our house with an office so I HAVE to use our bedroom. Fucking douchery. So now I'm cleaning so he will leave me alone. I told him I wish I had gone to my parents' house up the street before the snow really started coming in so I would be stuck there. At least then I could have relaxed in peace.

Whatever, whatever, I'm being a total bitch and I know it. I don't feel like taking my goddamn temp every morning anymore, I don't feel like peeing on OPKs anymore, I don't feel like counting down the days after I O to test....I just don't want to do it anymore. I know I'll feel better later, right now it is definitely pity party for one. After this cleaning crap is done I'm downing a bottle of wine. If I still smoked, I'd break out the p-funks too.