I am a blogging h0ar today

So fellow bloggers,

I don't want to keep my blog linked in my siggy on TB anymore. Due to the nature of my work I am looking to make my blog private. I am trying to figure out how to still have access to my blog for people who are interested. Not that this blog is full of entertainment, but ya know what I'm saying. Also, if someone wants to read my blog do I have to add them? I assume yes.

Any and all suggestions welcome. I am looking to shut this ish down and make it private in the next week.

Awesomesauce!

Today is my Friday! First week of classes are over and I survived. Meh it really wasn't bad, I just have to get used to talking to 60 faces instead of 30.

Okay, okay and it really isn't my Friday either. The thing about teaching - it is never over. I am constantly updating and adding new material. I am constantly trying to think of ways to keep the class engaged. I am constantly trying to think of ways to keep myself entertained...let's be honest. Really though, I love teaching college students. Every semester I am lucky enough to have a great group of kids to work with, it really is a pleasure. Hopefully this semester will be a blast.

On the TTC front not much to report. I am trying like hell not to test early. I can't believe I am already 8dpo today. Symptoms: Moody, tired, bloated, crampy = could definitely signal AF although it is a little early for that. I also just had a gnarly nosebleed. I'm sure all of this means absolutely nothing and I'm being crazycakes. I don't really know when or if I will test. Maybe Sunday if my temps look good. I don't have high hopes for this cycle, but only time will tell.

Let the Craziness Begin!

No, no not the craziness of the 2WW, although that is where I am right now. The craziness of the semester.

Classes start on Monday and I have been going out of mind trying to get ready for them, keeping up with my work for the Ph.D. classes I take, and continuing to work on my research projects. I only teach two days a week this semester instead of four, so that is a welcomed change. I am teaching my first large class of 60+ students. I'm slightly nervous about this, mostly about the prospect of grading all those papers. Yikes!

I am loving my Ph.D. classes this semester. They are hard as hell but being challenged keeps me motivated. They are taking a lot of my time though, more than previous semesters. I have about 300 or so pages to read and absorb every week. But I am really enjoying it so far. I am not happy that the University might now pay for me to go to a conference in March. Rawrrrr must continue to pester the Dean about this.

Okay back to working on PowerPoints, Syllabi, and all things fun.

Birds Flying High...

You know how I feel
Sun in the sky
You know how I feel
Reeds driftin' on by
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Just got back from dinner with a very dear friend. We ate great food and enjoyed great conversation. I've been rather introverted lately but I've been making an effort to get out and see people more often. Be part of life again. Be like me again. It felt fucking wonderful. I have to say that for the first time since October I am finally ready to see a BFP. We haven't been avoiding, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared of those two lines the last few months. There is something I read once that didn't make much sense to me till now: You know you are ready when you want a baby more than you are scared of losing a pregnancy. 

And because I'm feeling all kinds of deep and shit.

I.AM a Classy Broad

NYE after copious amounts of wine. Is this the picture of someone ready for a family? Why the hell not? Life is too damn short not to enjoy wine and the occasional cigar. Now that we are on Cycle #7 of TTC I am beginning to realize that I cannot have my life revolve around the potential excitement of a BFP or the disappointment of a BFN. I just have to enjoy life, as it is now.

Damn I hate this part!

I have been terrible keeping up with my blog, hopefully I will get better this month! I have lots to vent about, for now, I'm venting at myself ::sigh::

I took a much needed temp break this cycle. I just plain 'ole wanted a break from waking up at 6:30am every.single.day. I needed a break from analyzing the shit out of my chart. I took the break because I knew with all of travels this cycle it wasn't even that realistic.

Now here I am on CD28/14dpo.

I only used OPKs this cycle so I actually recorded sex through CD20 on FF (normally I stop after I know I O'd). Since I had nothing to go on other than OPKs and previous cycles, I figured no freaking problem! Wrong! My cycles used to be between 26-27 days before m/c, then went to 29 days after my m/c, and was back to 27 days last cycle. So I can't say I'm late because I don't know 100% sure when I ovulated. Now I'm just annoyed. I feel PMSy and really expected AF yesterday or today due to cramping and headaches...nada.

I haven't taken a HPT in two days so I might take one tomorrow or Friday if no AF. The 2WW usually sucks, but the last few days is always the worst. This one is definitely the worst so far because I have no idea what my "chart" would have looked like and it is driving me mad.

Vent over.

The Ups & Downs of 2012

So upon reflecting this past year, I thought I would put things into perspective for myself and write out the good, the bad, and the ugly of 2012. Here are the highlights.

The Good of 2012
1. I got engaged & married to the love of my life and truly wonderful man
2. I finished my first year of my Ph.D. program
3. I was awarded a full fellowship at my school which also = no tuition
4. I presented at my first conference

5. I got pregnant

The Bad & Ugly of 2012
1. We lost our first pregnancy

Overall, I would say the good clearly outweighs the bad of the year. While I was hoping to send out a holiday card to our friends and family announcing that we were expecting, I sent this out instead (obviously I cropped out our names here). It still puts a smile on my face, and is the day I try to remember most when thinking of 2012. Here is to a new beginning and a new year!